Behind Those Stoic Faces
by Reverberating Winds
Summary: The ninjas, as teens, are slightly perverted. Besides their little fantasies and homing missions, they are good at heart, but will all joking around lead to something true? Among these kids? Hmm...let's see.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Who Knew?

I don't own Naruto. No one on does, actually.

A/N: This takes place when Gaara's fifteen, Kazekage age, so...do the math yourself, math is not my subject! It's a year before the REAL time skip...unclear, I know, sorry.

Kiba sat on his couch. The TV wasn't on, nothing was going on. The only thing that was on were his ears. He heard his mom and sister come down the stairs, purses and keys jangling. "Alright, Kiba, we're going shopping. We'll be back in a few hours, and don't set anything on fire. Bye!" The two women took off. Moment of silence. Kiba jumped up and grabbed the phone and run upstairs. He slipped into his sisters room and scanned the area quickly until he saw it. The Victoria's Secret catalog. He took it and plopped himself on the floor, opening the first page. He felt giggles constrict his throat as he saw the girls in skimpy little outfits. "Naruto has to see this!" Kiba punched in Naruto's phone number and waited for the tone. "Talk."

"Code Pink."

Click.

Naruto entered Kiba's house and calmly went up the stairs into Hana's room. Kiba wordlessly held the racy magazine. Naruto took it and studied it seriously. But then he broke out into a grin. "Heh, this month has nice ones. What do you think?"

"Sexy and hot. Sizzling, yo." Kiba agreed, looking over Naruto, keeping his eyes on a girl wearing a thong and a demi bra.

"Neji should see this. I wonder--"

"NO!" Naruto grinned slyly. "Shino." Kiba smile and winked.

"YEAH! Let's call." Kiba dialed Shino's number and waited until he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Code Pink."

They hung up.

At Shino's house…

"What the hell? Was that Kiba…?" Shino shrugged and returned to the TV. His dad wasn't home…so, why not watch America's next top model? Shino snickered as more nice thoughts flew around as the women on screen walked on the runway. The doorbell rang, and Shino jumped up and turned off the TV. He ran to the door and opened it. Kiba and Naruto held a magazine in his face. It took Shino a while to register the images that were held so close to his eyes.

Shino snatched the magazine and flipped through it. He smiled and looked over the rims of his sunglasses. "Got some time on you?" he asked.

"The antichrist is coming!" yelled Kiba for no absolute reason.

"Yup." replied Naruto.

"Well," Shino turned on his plasma TV and watched Kiba and Naruto have slight nosebleeds. "I think we'll all enjoy this."

"The antichrist is coming!" Kiba screamed again…for no reason people could understand.

----------------------------------------------

"Huh." Tenten said, lounging on Ino's couch. "I wonder if Neji will ever let me pinch his butt…" she mused.

"Okay, here's how it works. The person with the cutest ass is…" Ino said dramatically.

"WHO?" demanded Sakura.

"SASUKE!"

"But…Sasuke's gone…" Tenten said flatly. Ino shrugged.

"So? It was so perfect. Imagine how it's gotten by now."

"Ooh…" Tenten agreed.

Silence followed. Hinata broke it with surprising words.

"Ino?"

"Yeah?"

"Your sensei…he's hot…" she mumbled

"ASUMA?!" Ino regained composure. "Yeah. Well, lots of people think that. But Kurenai is his."

"DAMMIT!" screamed Hinata. Everyone looked at her She sank down Temari sniffed.

"Genma is damn sexy. So is Neji. Asuma, too. Shikamaru is sexy too. Konoha has a good catch for guys." Temari pointed out. Playing with her hair, she added "Everyone, pretty much, except for Gai and Lee, are good looking. But mostly the ones I mentioned."

"Yeah." Sakura agreed.

"Who wants to see Neji undress?" asked Tenten.

"YEAH!"

---------------------------------------------

"Let's see…percentage of--"

"Tsunade!" Tsunade looked up from her paper.

"Yes, Shizune?"

"The teenagers!" she exclaimed waving her arms around frantically. Tsunade scowled looked at her expectantly. Genma walked into the room.

"In other words, the rookie nine are having the perfectly normal perverted tendencies," he said smoothly.

"NORMAL?!" demanded Shizune. "They are saying racy things to every girl they see!"

"Who, exactly?" asked Tsunade calmly.

"Shino, Kiba, Naruto, and Chouji." replied Shizune. "NOT NORMAL!" Genma made a face and laughed.

"So? I did the same. Ah, those were retarded days…" Genma said. Shizune looked horrified.

"EEWWWWWWW!" she ran out of the room scattering papers everywhere. Tsunade sighed. Genma scowled.

"Is she sexist?" he asked.

"She's…not lesbian, but she didn't grow up with men." Genma scoffed and left the office. "Oh! Genma…what exactly are they saying to the women?" Genma smirked.

"No restraining orders, sorry. But they're saying things like "Hey, babe, come chill with me" and "sexy girl, come to me" all that. It's not that bad. They're not stripping, and they're not pimps, so…I did the same, give 'em a break." Tsunade sighed.

"Okay. Now, uh, could you go explain to Shizune how that works?" Tsunade asked calmly. Genma raised an eyebrow.

"Do I have to--"

"YES!" Tsunade regained civility and cleared her throat. "They'll probably hit on her, too…"

"But she's so flat!" pointed out Genma, scowling. Tsunade's lip curled.

"Go explain right fucking now--"

"Why?"

"'Cause. I. Fucking. Said. So." she spit out. Genma recoiled and strolled out of the room. _Menopause. Crap. I'm not going to survive these months…or is it years…?_

_-------------------------------------------------------_

"Tenten! Where is he?" whispered Ino. Tenten scanned the compound's open hallways.

"There!"

With head of deep umber held high and gliding down the wooden floors silently, Neji made his way to the bath house.

"Okay! Commence!"

The girls dispersed and surrounding the Neji-containing area. Tenten and Temari landed on the floor quietly, but not quiet enough. Neji, just sliding the door open, turned around. It was then they noticed his shirtsleeve was halfway down his long pale arm. Neji's dark eyebrows met in a frown. With a deep, and enticing, to the girls "hn", he proceeded. Sakura, Ino, and Hinata came out form behind a corner and signaled for Tenten and Temari to jump down from the roof. Sending Tenten, who looked like a Hyuuga besides Hinata, into the bath house, they quickly inched them selves in.

Neji's shirt was fully off. Lean muscles were all over his arms, back and chest. The girls strangled squeals. Neji turned around once more, this time angry. He blinked.

"I know you're there. Come out." he demanded.

"DAMN!" they all yelled. Neji masked shock with a deep frown as he watched about five girls come out form their hiding places.

"Why, pray tell, are you in the bath house, the Hyuuga compound, too?" he asked. Tenten was left to explain.

"Uh, um, we were, uhhh…"

"Be honest." commanded Neji.

"We were trying to catch you undressing…" she confessed in a shrilly tone. Neji growled deep in his throat.

"And why the in bloody hell were you doing that?"

"Um…you're really sexy--" Neji's upraised hand silenced her.

"I don't want to hear more." he said in his usual chilly tone. Tenten sighed.

"Sorry."

"No, you're not. You four, explain. _Especially_ Hinata." Temari stepped up.

"Easy. You're hot. We wanted to see you undress. Need I say more?" Neji's lip curled slightly. Ino, with a flourish, took the challenge next.

"Okay, well, like, you're smokin'. Plus, we like guys undressing." Neji paled slightly, if that was anywhere near possible. Sakura, scared faced the angry Hyuuga next.

"We find your body extremely appealing. And, for that reason, we wanted to see more of it." Neji cringed slightly.

"Hinata…" he said expectantly. Hinata couldn't even look at him.

"Uh, I like your ass. I wanted to see--"

Neji put a hand over her mouth and shook his head.

"Please…no more. Now, don't plague this place ever again, or I will, believe me, use my gentle fist on you. So. Go one, get out." Neji shooed them away. To his relief, they quickly left.

Neji finished undressing and slid into the steaming waters. He suddenly heard the door slide open. Neji looked over his shoulder.

"Yes?" he said, recognizing his personal servant who bowed respectfully.

"Sir, there are three people requesting to see you." Neji raised an eyebrow in question.

"Their names are Naruto, Kiba, and Shino. They would like to see you for urgent matters. I believe they said something like… "Code Pink"?" Neji nodded.

"Bring them in and supply them with towels immediately."

"Understood, sir. Enjoy your bath." Neji returned to his position with his back to the door. Within a few minutes, the door opened. No sounds but footsteps.

Neji waved his right hand out to his side above the steaming water airily. A roll touched his palm and he quickly closed his fingers around it, and brought it around in front of him. He left the tight roll go and studied its cover for a millisecond. Looking over the top of the catalog, he said. "Very good. Now enter and let us discuss this bounty." Kiba, Shino, and Naruto flanked Neji in the water.

"New to the world. Hana received it this morning." Kiba informed.

"Quite lovely and fresh." Shino added dryly, caramel eyes straying to the very same cover Neji was studying. Neji slowly nodded.

"Or, in this language, sexy and passionate." Naruto added. Neji scowled and opened it. He slowly made his way through the pages, the other boys looking on with straight faces. He closed the catalog.

"Well over adequate report, Shino." acknowledged Neji. "Timely delivery, Kiba."

"What about me?" Naruto asked. Neji frowned.

"Try again," Naruto pouted.

Neji was the only one that didn't crack a smile, or blush. Naruto giggled erotically the whole way throughout the skimpy catalog. Kiba bit his lip to keep from smiling but had a light touch of pink adding even more color to his face. Shino pushed the glasses _down_ his nose to get a better view, but more so to hide the roses blooming on his dead cheeks.

"Kiba, Shino, Naruto." Neji requested their attention.

"Yes?" they replied, alert. Neji tore his eyes off the catalog and smirked.

"Where s Chouji's present location?" he inquired.

"He is researching feminism thoroughly." Naruto answered quite formally.

"Ah," Neji said briskly, "in that case, Naruto, alert Shikamaru, Lee, and Sasuke of this, stat. Shino, go to the bookstore and purchase a surplus of racy magazines. Kiba, go to Suna and seek out Kankuro and Gaara; alert them of our findings as well, and have them come to Konoha on your return. We shall meet in two hours in the conference room in the main building. Understood?"

"Yes sir!" The three other ninjas put on clothes and immediately took off for their duties. Neji allowed a smirk to slide sleekly over his lips.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Kankuro, answer that."

"No."

"I fuckin' said to, and as the Kazekage you do what _I _say now. Answer it or your head will hang over my fireplace."

The Kazekage's advisor mumbled some decorative, colorful words and ripped the door open.

"My man, Kanky!"

"Kiba, my dear pimp!"

Gaara watched with interest as the two specimens did a sort of body slam thing.

"Are you done?" he asked dryly.

"Yeah. Okay, here's the deal: Neji has approved," Kankuro and Gaara's eyes widened. "And he is calling for you 'stat'. So, let's ditch this pop stand and get out asses to the other pimp pop stand, yo."

"Yeah, son!" Kankuro and Kiba were about to take off.

"Damn right!" added Kiba, high five-ing Kankuro

"Wait," they halted and turned to Gaara, the source of the command.

"Yeah?"

"…I'm coming."

Hey. Thanks for reading. I figured that being teenagers, the Naruto crew I'm sure has their own little "fantasies" as well. So, that's what this is about. But something else might unfurl from this. I always leave reviews for stories, so do the same to me!

**REVIEW, PLEASE! **

…**if you readers don't review, you won't see any this else be posted for this story!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Ensued Meeting

Okay. I will try this disclaimer thing without anything snappy. Here we go

I don't own Narut-- …wait a minute…HOLY CRAP! The stove's on fire!

Shino looked over the rims of his sunglasses for a juicy magazine…or book. Not porn, but total skimpiness. On women of course. Shino, at once, took about eight magazines, tucked them into his coat, and, well, ran.

------------------------------------------------

"Are we there yet?" asked Kankuro.

"No." Gaara mumbled.

"Yup!" Kiba jumped high over a tree, and Konoha spread itself out before them. Gaara seemed amused by the sight. They landed in front of the main building, and went in. However, they were stopped at the receptionist's desk.

"Excuse me, boys," she said, "Where are you going?"

"Oh, we have the conference room reserved." replied Kiba, making a move to go.

"Ah-ah-ah! No, some other _man_ has it reserved. Sorry, but you're not going anywhere."

"But--"

"Miss," the three confused guys turned around, where Neji was standing majestically, head held high, radiating with pride. "I reserved the conference room. Now, if you'll excuse us, we are going to hold our meeting of high importance." The receptionist's mouth formed a perfect "o", and watched Neji flying down the hall with Kiba, Kankuro, and Gaara scampering in his proud wake. Neji's long arm reached for the handle, and he opened it, a huge room with a long, metal table and skylights appeared before them. Neji made a sound of satisfaction. He walked in, leaving Kiba to close the door behind them.

Neji took his place at the executive chair at one end of the table, and sat straight, neatly folding his hands in front of him. The other three took seats next to him.

"Report," Kankuro demanded.

"Code Pink." Neji replied smoothly.

"Sir, Kiba has informed us that you have approved of this month's catalog." Gaara said, starting off carefully.

"Affirmative," Neji replied with a short, curt nod. "Brace yourself." Neji slid the catalog, already dog eared and slightly wrinkled because of all the usage, or, desperation to see the girls, to Gaara, who gingerly opened it. Just a glance at the first page, made him falter. He made a gasp-y, giggly, happy whimper in his throat, and put a hand to his nose to stop the free blood flow. Neji, Kiba and Kankuro, amused, watched the sanguine display. Neji's face reflected satisfaction, Kankuro's face was made somewhat lively by the eyebrow in his twitching scowl, and Kiba's mouth hung open and his eyebrows were raised in that famous, expectant, Inuzuka way.

"What?" Gaara mumbled, not even halfway through the magazine and holding his robes to his nose. "I can't like…sexy girls?"

"Uh, well, Gaara, no one knew you were so susceptible to this sort of thing. I mean, we thought you had no interest in females at all." Kankuro said bluntly. Gaara frowned and shook his head, continuing with the magazine.

"What now?" asked Kiba, reclining in his chair.

"Let us wait," replied Neji, busting out Come Come Paradise. Kiba shrugged, nodded, and put his feet on the table, discreetly began watching Gaara lose self control of himself.

An awkward silence ensued, only to be broken by the big wooden doors slammed. Neji looked up from the book, slightly irritated, and relaxed when he saw it was only Shino. Shino quickly walked up to Neji, suppressing pants and gasps.

"What happened to you?"

"I stole…these…look…enjoy…" Shino reached into his coat and pulled out a stack of eight magazines, and plopped them in front of Neji, who smirked, and flipped through them absentmindedly, not taking in too much detail. Kiba had the "famous Inuzuka" look again, but this time his mouth was pulled into an entertained smile.

"Shino, Shino, Shino. I didn't know you were the type of person to _steal_." Kiba taunted. Shino sniffed and pushed his sunglasses up his nose.

"Desperate calls call for desperate measures." he replied blankly, satisfying Kiba, who snickered.

"SHINO!"

"AHH! Yes, Neji?"

"Where did you get these?" demanded Neji.

"Um…bookstore?"

"What section?"

"…magazines?"

"…very good." Neji returned to the magazines. Kiba sighed and hummed a random song to himself. Shino frowned as he watched Gaara, now trembling and looking rabid with pleasure, finishing the catalog. It was then Shino thought it wise to sit far from the crazed closet pervert.

Before the doors even opened, they could hear Naruto scampering loudly down the hallway. Neji sprang up, and held he door shut, pissing off Naruto.

"HEY! Let me in!" screamed Naruto.

"Shut up!" hissed Neji. "Password?"

"SRS me, who is sexy," sang Naruto. (A/N: **S**howy **R**acy **S**kimpy)

"Enter." Neji released his hold on the door, and it went flying open. Naruto did not hold back any "oohs" or "ahhs" as he saw the large, well lit room. Shikamaru scowled and slumped into a seat, and Sasuke had a face full of angst as he sat down. Lee skipped around, and did the unexpected. He skipped over to Neji and hugged him. Neji, offended, brusquely pushed him off.

"What in bloody hell is wrong with you?" demanded the Hyuuga, frowning maniacally. Lee giggled, and sat down. Neji brushed himself off, made a face similar to Sasuke's and returned to his seat. "Alright. Let us commence." Neji looked at everyone thoughtfully, then was finally about to speak, but took the Victoria's Secret catalog from Gaara, who everyone wisely avoided. Ignoring Gaara's little squeals, Neji spoke.

"I welcome you all. Today, it has been brought to my attention that this month's issue of the Victoria's Secret catalog had some very sexy models in it. I have not been impressed for a year and a half with this little bounty. Therefore, I ask you all to briefly look at it." Shikamaru eyed the catalog warily.

"Even with Gaara's blood all over it?" Neji frowned and took the catalog Shikamaru was pinching between his thumb and forefinger. Neji frowned as the blood ended up on his hand, and that many of the pages were smeared with the red liquid. _You know what? Fuck it, they'll have to suck it up. _

"If you don't handle the catalog, which is fine with me, you'll have to look on with everyone else." Neji said with a tight irritation in his voice.

"Wait…why are we here?" asked Sasuke. Neji blinked.

"Oh! I suppose I forgot to tell you. This, this club, the SRS club, is devoted to researching feminism physically and internally. It is an elite, well respected club. We meet when a new Victoria's Secret catalog comes out, or whenever we feel the need to discuss femininity." Neji explained. "And, with the epic curves of this month's catalog, we thought it cordial to invite you to it, marking the euphoria of this catalog in more people. Be my guest, and take a look."

Sasuke scowled, but went ahead an crowded around Naruto with the others, who were giggling and squealing like girls as they saw the models, clad in racy, erotic things. When they finished, Sasuke's head was tipped back so no blood would spill from his nose, and Shikamaru had a very obvious tinge of pink to his cheeks. Lee, however, was unaffected.

"They're ugly." he remarked.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" boomed the room, glaring at Lee. Lee recoiled, and shrugged.

"They are not attractive. Women are not attractive to me, but men are!" Lee looked suggestively at Neji.

The room suggested death and bloodshed in a few moments.

"OWW! SHIT! WHAT THE--"

Neji gave Lee a slap, bound him in his unitard in a very uncomfortable way, slung the queer over his shoulder, and literally tossed him out of the room. Neji slammed the door and sank to his knees. Naruto, Kiba, and Shino did the same.

"Oh lord, please forgive us for associating with one of them, the race of homosexuals, poisoning this world with homosexual toxins. Look down to your heterosexual beings and praise us for living the way you rightfully said to, for we are here celebrating feministic attraction. Keep us in you prayers, Amen."

-----------------------------------------------

The girls were currently at Ino's house, thinking of ways to waste their time, but meeting hot guys while doing it.

"Okay, what do we do now?" asked Ino.

"Boy watching," suggested Temari.

"Watching Neji was a failure, though." Hinata said.

"True." everyone else agreed.

Suddenly, a sly look came up onto Temari's face.

"Let's see. The guys are in the conference room, no?"

"That's right," the others affirmed.

"Exactly." she continued. "How about we greet them in our bathing suits? When they come out, I'm sure they'll enjoy us, and then we can do some more boy watching, and after that, play strip poker!" Temari said, proud of herself. Tenten's eyes widened.

"Tsunade knows how to play…"

"So? We can invite to an impromptu party…here, at Ino's house!"

"My parents are out of town," added Ino. "So, that means we can get crunk and no one will care!"

Hinata grinned devilishly. Sakura and Ino nodded, while Temari snickered.

"Perfect. Go get your bathing suits on, and snappy. In this summer heat, it won't matter if we walk around town in swimsuits. So, go!"

"Okay!"

With that said, the girls rushed off under Temari's command.

----------------------------------------

"What the hell was that?" asked Sasuke.

Neji and the others rose up to full height.

"Oh, it is a sin to make contacts with queers. It says in the bible, no gays!" Kiba replied.

"Exactly." Shino said. "We never knew Lee was…the word makes me sick…_queer_."

"I agree with them, Sasuke. It is not right…unless _you _are a gay." Sasuke recoiled.

"Oh, hell, no!"

"Ahem," Neji demanded all attention on him. "Are you two joining the club or not?" Shikamaru smiled.

"I see there are several benefits to it, so, yes, I will join." Neji nodded.

"Excellent. You, Sasuke?" Sasuke paused angst-ily before replying.

"Sure, why not, it's not going to kill me."

"Okay. Since Shino has brought--"

"STOLEN," corrected the smug Inuzuka.

"Yes, yes, _stolen_," continued the almighty Neji, "We shall examine them. But Gaara…for health reasons I think you should, uh, not take part in this round." Gaara waved his hand lazily.

"Please. I'll get a blood transfusion later."

"Okay!" Naruto said, taking a magazine. "Let the fun--"

"And aimless blood loss," added Sasuke.

"That too. Anyway, let the fun begin. Hand me the one with that blondie stripping over there…"

Yay. The stove was put out. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to review.


	3. Chapter 3

-1Chapter 3: When Pervs Attack

IDON

I wanted to thank Inuzuka Nin for the great reviews she gave!

"Ooh, man, Shino! Excellent pickings!" Sasuke wiped his nose and dried his red hand on his white pants. No one wanted to mention he looked like he had been menstruating after that swipe of red he put on his pants.

"I know!" agreed Kiba, who wasn't bleeding. Living with his shapely sister, he became accustomed to bras hanging around the house, but that was his sister and his mom. Not some random girls who sell themselves for the happiness of teenage boys!

"People…Gaara needs another transfusion…" announced Shikamaru. Gaara had collapsed on the ground and was sickly white. Neji groaned loudly.

"That's the fourth one." Neji sighed and called an ambulance AGAIN.

Over In the area of sane people, Naruto was giving Shikamaru a very detailed explanation of the female body. "And there you go. Detailed version."

"Wait, so what's the purpose of an extra rib?"

"Well," Naruto paused, "For the curves and to protect organs, and it's formed so they can get pregnant. Yeah."

"Oh, I see…and, what about the internal ways?" asked Shikamaru, making mental notes.

"Well…be prepared, Shika, be prepared…" Naruto made a sly look and gave him all he needed to know.

One Gaara had been "transfused" again, he went right back to the magazines.

"Hey, Gaara, none for you!" Kankuro said.

"What? Why?"

"I'm not using any more money on your blood transfusions." Neji grumbled. Gaara made a face.

"Whatever…" murmured Gaara.

The room was silent for a while. Giggles and turning pages were only the only sounds, nothing drastic.

"Hey, guys?"

"What, Kiba?" Neji said irritably.

"I hear someone coming. From down the hallway."

The door opened. Right then, things changed.

"Hey, guys!"

Temari strode in, leading the other bikini clad girls behind her. The boys stared. And stared. And stared, until Gaara passed out, and even then none of them could rip their eyes of the girls. Too sexy.

"Hey…" Neji said.

"HI!" the girls squealed. "Do you HOT guys want to come to the beach with us? Volleyball, sand castles--"

"Is that beach topless?" blurted out Sasuke. Temari giggled.

"Uh, no. But--"

"Can we skinny dip?" he demanded. Hinata and Sakura became noticeably nervous.

"Maybe." Temari replied simply. "So, go get those swimsuits on--"

"Preferably a speedo," Ino added.

"Yeah," agreed Temari. "And meet us at Tsunade's tower. We'll get her to drive us. Alright, see you there!"

Awkward silence.

"Boys. Do as they say. Magazines are up for grabs. Bring a camera. Let's fly!" commanded Neji.

The room became empty shortly after the magazine fight.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

After the guys went home and put on their swimsuits and gathered supplies, they went up to Tsunade's tower. But they stopped before entering.

"Suspicious conversation. Kiba."

"Huh?"

"Listen, damn it!"

Neji rammed Kiba's head against the door.

"Fuck!"

"Shut up!" the others hissed.

Kiba murmured more obscenities, and then focused on the conversation.

"…be strong! No matter how lustful they are, or how hot they are, be abstinent! You don't want to HPV or Chlamydia at such a young age…yes yes…"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Good, good."

Sasuke burst in, and the boys followed.

"Hey!" the girls said excitedly.

"Hi…" the guys said nervously.

"Let's go! Oh wait, Tsunade?"

"Yes?" Tsunade studied the group curiously.

"Will you drive us to the beach?" Sakura asked politely. Tsunade laughed out loud.

"Oh, hell, no! That's your problem there!"

"Pretty please?" begged Sakura.

"Pretty please with sugar on top and with chocolate syrups and walnuts and ice cream and a banana?" Kiba stuck out his lower lip and laced his hands together. Temari pushed him out of the way aggressively.

"Listen, lady, if you drive us there…" Temari fished for something in her purse, found it, and waved it in front of Tsunade's face.

"This twenty will be yours." Temari grinned. "How about it?"

Tsunade scowled and examined it.

"Damn, it's a real one. Hmm…hey, Genma?"

Genma, who was busy stabbing some bug on the window sill with his toothpick, looked up.

"What do you want?" he asked dismissively.

"Would you be a good employee--"

"Pssh, more like slave…" he muttered.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Continue."

"Anywho," Tsunade resumed. "would you be good enough to drive these lovely teens to the beach for me?"

"Haha-- NO." he replied.

Temari stalked over to him.

"Not even for my twenty here?"

"No. Do I have to say it in Chinese?"

Tsunade strode over.

"Genma, if you drive them I'll give you my twenty and this fifty right here."

Genma considered carefully. He broke out into a grin.

"Slip in another twenty and we got a deal." he said.

Tsunade and Temari sighed in exasperation.

"FINE!" Temari shoved more money into his hands. "Now take us to the beach."

"Alright. Kids, follow me. Genma pulled out some keys out of his pocket." Genma had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"WOOT WOOT! PARTY!" screamed Kiba, bounding down the stairs.

"DAMN RIGHT!" screamed Naruto, tackling him down. Hinata, Ino, and Sakura stayed behind, closer to Genma.

"What car do you have?" asked Sakura

Genma shrugged.

"I'm jacking Asuma's."

"Seriously?"

"Duh."

"I call shotgun!" screamed Kiba.

"Fuck you! I get the front seat!" Neji knocked Kiba out of the way.

"PEOPLE!" Genma came and separated the two. "I'm choosing who gets shotgun. Shino, shotgun."

"What? Why?" demanded Kiba.

"Because," Genma said angrily, "he's the only sane one. Kids, this car has…seven seats, and twelve of you. Two to a seat, sit on laps if necessary."

Since Shino already had the front, and the middle row consisted of Neji, Kiba, Naruto, and Shikamaru squeezed together , and the back row included Temari, Tenten, Hinata, Ino, there were some who had the hard decision of who to sit laps with. Sasuke's face reflected angst once again, but with horror mixed in.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope. Now choose and make it snappy. The beach is an hour away." Genma said impatiently.

"Shit. Hey…Temari? I'll sit on you." Sasuke's decision got many reactions.

"SURE!" Temari cried.

"Holy crap!" exclaimed Kiba, his eyebrows hovering higher than usual in the famous, expectant Inuzuka look.

"What the hell?!" Ino and Sakura watched, dumbstruck, as Sasuke climbed over into the back and planted his ass down in Temari's lap. Temari didn't seem to care at all, while Sasuke was a bit uncomfortable.

Now it was Kankuro's turn.

"Yo, Tenten. I'll sit on you."

" 'Kay."

Kankuro was used to dealing with girls, so this wasn't a problem for him.

Gaara was faced with the decision to sit on a girl or a guy.

"Ino, move your legs. I'm coming in."

"Uh-uh! Shikamaru's going to sit on my lap!" Ino looked pissed off. Nonetheless, Gaara planted his butt on Ino's knees.

"Hurry the fuck up…" murmured Genma.

"I'm sitting with Hinata." Shikamaru got comfortable on her lap.

Sakura shrieked in frustration. It was too much. Who would she sit with? Naruto was over there wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Naruto…move…"

"WOOT! Sakura, get comfy on my dick!"

"HEY! You can be ghetto as soon as I'm out of earshot!" yelled Genma, highly perturbed.

"Eww!" she shrieked. Nonetheless, she gingerly sat down, almost in tears.

"Are you retards ready yet?" demanded Genma.

"Yep."

"Question: why did you guys decide to sit on the girls?"

"Uh, um…" they faltered, and blushed.

Genma just snickered. Upon getting onto the hallway, things got a little hairy.

Between Neji's superiority complex and Ino complaining about her legs falling asleep, Kiba was dogging on and on about Lee, and how "homo" he was. No one paid much attention to him. Up in the front, Shino was enjoying the scenery and the air conditioning on high cool.

"Anyone want to play I Spy?" Kiba asked.

"License plate game!" Kankuro said.

"No, we're going to play the flick off people with nice pimped out cars game." Temari said proudly.

"NO! License plate game!" whined Kankuro.

Temari simply flicked him off.

Turning to the window, she waited until she saw a nice car coming. With that, she raised both middle fingers and frowned maniacally with her tongue sticking out. It was lucky Genma was busy staring at the road and conversing lightly with Shino and not watching her.

"Could you drive faster?" asked Kiba. Genma looked over his shoulder, smirking.

"If I wanted to, I would, but then if you die I'll be sued, so no." Genma replied airily.

"Okay. My mom and sister have the lead foot, and I'm used to fast driving." Kiba said.

"Okay. Hey, Kanky, my man, how's it going back there?" Kiba grinned at Kiba.

"It's good back here. Am I killing your knees, Tenten?"

"Nope." she replied.

"Okay, good."

"Want to play rock paper scissors?"

"It's already been decided we're going to flick people with pimped out cars," Temari stated. "Ooh! Camaro!"

"Whatever."

Kiba took off his seatbelt, and turned around to face Kankuro, where the two fired away. Neji was shooting dirty glances at Kankuro over his shoulder, and no one could figure out why.

"Ah! Corvette!"

…and Temari was at it again.

"Hey, Genma, are we there yet?"

"No. We've been on the road for five dang minutes, Kiba."

" 'Kay."

It was silent for a while. The only noise was Ino mumbling cuss and Gaara sighs of exasperation. He was because he had to sit on some "bitch's" lap, and his head was touching the ceiling, because of his growth spurt. Still, the car was cruising smoothly down the highway, there weren't any interruptions.

"Hey, kids?" Genma broke the silence.

"What's up?"

"It just occurred to me: do you guys have towels, sunscreen, etcetera?" Genma inquired.

"Yup! We tossed it all in the back." replied Naruto.

"Well, we don't have sunscreen, but it's not like anyone really uses it. Plus, we wanted to make Naruto look like a lobster." Kiba added.

"And why would that be?" Genma asked blankly.

" 'Cause, lobsters, are like, ZAM with those fat claws and then they're like WOOSH when they snap like snakes!" explained Naruto. Kiba nodded fervently, grinning.

"YEAH! Nailed that Mustang!" exclaimed Temari.

"Um, 'scuse me?" demanded Genma. "Nailed what _how_?

"Uh…" Temari faltered. "I was playing rock paper scissors."

"Don't lie to me! I can see you in the rearview mirror." Genma said sharply.

"OH PWNED!" announced Kiba.

"I'm just…" Temari laughed nervously. "…nothing. I'm not doing anything."

Genma was silent for a minute.

"Temari," he was irritated, "tell what you were doing right now or I'm turning this damned car around right now."

"I wasn't doing anything!"

"Don't be a retard, Tem!" Kankuro piped up. "I want to go to the beach. Now tell the crazy toothpick guy why you flicking off people with nice cars. Oh, whoops, did it for you!"

"Screw you!" yelled Temari.

"Thanks, Kankuro, you got your sister in trouble. Temari, your staying with me for an hour when we get to the beach."

"WHY?" she cried.

"Well, you didn't tell the truth."

"Hey, Genma, you're good at parenting." Naruto pointed out.

Genma hesitated.

"Gee, I don't know how I should take that…"

Naruto smiled radiantly.

"The good way."

From then on, the car was quiet. Neji continued giving Kankuro dirty looks, Shino looked out the window in boredom, and Sakura tried to sit on the very edge of Naruto's knees, and in the back The other girls and Kankuro were quiet. Shikamaru fell asleep eventually, and Kiba was counting the hairs on Shino's head in front of him. Gaara had managed to squish himself into a ball so that he wouldn't hit his head anymore. Ino was still angry. They were either bored, or saving their energy for the beach.

"Are we there yet?" mumbled Kiba.

"About ten more minutes," answered Genma smoothly.

"Mmhm."

Five minutes later, they got off the highway and started on a different, much emptier road enclosed by trees.

"YAY!" cheered Kiba and Naruto, high five-ing each other. "We're almost here!"

" 'I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky…'" Kiba and Naruto were singing at the top of their little lungs. No one told them to shut up.

"Hey! Look! THE OCEAN!" exclaimed Naruto, pointing.

"I can't wait! This is what I have been waiting for…since the winter!"

"I can smell the seaweed and the dead fish!" Kiba exclaimed.

"You kids behave!"

" 'Kay!"

The teenagers emptied the car, gathering their things out of the trunk, and running onto the golden sands.

"Volleyball?" Ino offered, rushing to the volleyball net.

"Me!" Sakura and Hinata ran over. Over on the other side of the net, the sound squad were chilling out, ready to play.

Tenten and Temari went off to hang out with the guys. Meanwhile…

Naruto and Shino noticed Neji was very edgy. Anything would set him off. Kiba ignored everyone, and went to go explore the ocean with Kankuro and Sasuke. Shikamaru fell asleep in the sand somewhere, and Gaara…Gaara was busy making a sculpture-- of sand-- of a naked lady…

"What's up with Neji?" Naruto asked Shino quietly.

Shino shrugged, ignoring the stares from all the females on the beach. With his shirt and sunglasses of, and hair falling neatly around his face, pensive hazel staring out from the bangs of brown, he attracted more looks than anyone.

"I don't know…"

The two watched Neji saunter into the navy waters.

"I think he's jealous."

"Of what?" asked Naruto, giving Shino a curious look.

"Well…let's find out. Come on, into the water."

"Hey! Look at that girl over there! Her boob is almost out of that top. She's really hot!" Naruto pointed. "Oh, crap, she's got a boyfriend. Damn." Shino squinted.

"That's my mom. And my dad. Now let's go see what's up."

"Don't screw with me, Shino. That is not your mother, okay?" Naruto couldn't take his eyes off of her. The gorgeous brown hair like Shino's hit the shoulders, and curviness was her body. Next to her a muscular guy was smiling at her.

"Yes, it is."

"B-but…she's…she's so hot!" stammered Naruto.

"Well, she's married and has kids. Quit looking at her like that and COME ON."

Shino took Naruto's arm and they waded into the water behind Neji. Neji was walking faster toward Kankuro and the other two.

Neji went face to face with Kankuro.

"Hey, you, stay away from Tenten!"

"What?" Kankuro looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You can't hide what's inside, dropout." Neji said darkly. With that, he turned and left.

Kankuro and Kiba stared after him

"Bastard." muttered Kankuro.

"He thinks he's so cool." Kiba said, scowling.

"Ow! Crap!" exclaimed Sasuke. "Something bit me. Oh, hey, I found a crab…" Sasuke went under the dark water.

"Good! Crab puffs, here I come!" Kiba went under. Kankuro was still brooding over what Neji said.

"Kanky, want to go flirt with Shino's mom?" Naruto asked, teasing Shino. Shino slapped Naruto rather hard on his arm, glaring at him.

"Eww! Are you sick or something?"

Kankuro recoiled, with a reproachful look plastered on his face.

"No, but she's really hot. Over there…" Kankuro followed Naruto's extended arm.

"The one in that blue bikini?"

"Yep!"

Kankuro eyebrows lifted, and he whistled.

"Whoa. She's like, sexy." he turned his attention to Shino, who was muttering swear and shaking his head. "How come you never told us you had a sexy mom?"

"Because. She's…I don't know! She's my mother! She has the C-section scar from me! You expect me to hit on my own mother?" Shino was seething.

"With one like that, YES." Naruto said a matter of factly.

Shino groaned loudly.

"You guys…are on crack." Shino muttered, stalking back to the shore.

"Meh. Let's go flirt with her!"

Sitting on the roof of the rental stand, two girls were scanning the shoreline. Temari handed Tenten the binoculars. Tenten took them, and pressed them against her eyes, sharp.

"Okay, so the one in the speedo is some guy from the sound four?"

"Apparently." Tenten replied, scanning the area. "Omigosh! Hottie, twelve o' clock!"

"My turn!"

Temari ripped the sacred binoculars from her grasp, and pressed them against her own.

"…oh my god. I think…it can't be!" gasped Temari, leaning forward

"What 'can't be'?" demanded Tenten.

"The guy I'm looking at…is freaking smoking. He's so muscular…and hot. Caution: sexy when wet!" squealed Temari. Tenten stole the binoculars.

"Is that…It can't be!"

"Exactly!" Temari took them back. "No way…but the hair…I think it really is him!" Temari zoomed in.

"Yup. It's Genma alright." Temari concluded the truth.

"WOW." murmured Tenten. "That's just…WOW." Tenten sighed. "I'm in love!"

Temari gave her a funny look.

"Okay, then. Hey look, there's Shino. SHINO! UP HERE!" Temari waved her arms frantically. Shino looked up, mouth slightly ajar. He walked over to the shack, and climbed up, sitting between them.

"Hey."

"What's up?" greeted Temari.

"Naruto and Kankuro are hitting on my mom. It's depressing." Shino sighed disconsolately.

Temari put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, man, don't go emo. They'll get over her…"

"I hope." Shino said quietly.

"Well, don't worry about it." added Tenten, smiling brightly. "What time is it?"

"Almost five thirty." replied Shino.

Tenten pouted.

"We only got here an hour and a half ago! We'll have to go back soon…I don't want to go home!" she whined.

"Well…" Temari thought of something. You could almost see the light bulb pop up next to her head. "Let's ask Genma if we can stay at some beach house for a few days!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Temari, he won't--"

"Shino, you forgot that I'm loaded." Temari said slyly. Shino raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"Loaded with cash. We can bribe him." Temari reminded. "It can't be that hard. Genma is…where is that sexy beast?"

"Over there." Tenten replied.

"Where?"

"Surrounded by all the girls."

"Oh. Yeah. We'll ask him later, once the ladies go away." Temari said, nodding.

"That's not going to happen." remarked Tenten.

"Oh yeah?"

"They're all over him! LIKE BUGS!" Tenten said, disgusted. Shino harrumphed loudly.

"Sorry." Tenten quickly apologized.

"It's fine."

"You know, bugs really _don't _freak me out." Temari stated proudly. "They're actually cool."

A trace of a smile crossed Shino's lips briefly.

"Oh…that's nice." Shino looked away. "Most girls don't like bugs. I think that's cool that you do, Tem…ari." he added in a whisper. Tenten looked at Shino. Then back at Temari.

"He likes you," she whispered.

"Girl, please. Don't be stupid." Temari waved her off. "Okay. Let's go ask Genma. Coming, Shino?

"…"

"Shino? Are you okay, you're kind of red in the face."

"I'm fine!" he said quickly.

"Coming with us?"

"Oh, uh, sure.

Pinpointing Genma and sliding through the women was a task. While Temari pushed hips and boobs out of the way, hips and boobs bumped Shino.

"Yo! Genma! We gotta ask you something."

"Hm?"

Genma looked up from where he was sitting.

"What would that be?"

"Could we stay here for a few days? Like, rent a house and stay here? On the beach."

Genma gave Temari a long and indecipherable look. He sighed softly, and smiled.

"Got any hundreds on you?" he asked, very business like.

Temari became serious.

"I'll give you two, no more." she offered sternly.

"Deal." he answered. "Ladies, I'll see you later. I have some business to take care of." Genma stood up, and pushed the swooning girls aside.

"You three, follow me."

After five minutes of walking, Temari became impatient.

"Where are we going?" she asked.  
"Beach house."

"Yours?" Tenten asked curiously.

Genma laughed.

"Hell no, Hayate's!" he replied.

"Why do you jack everything from people?" Tenten questioned, scowling.

"Uhh…well, they doesn't know I do that…Asuma is probably wondering where his car is…"

"Okay, so how big is this place? Will we a fit?" Shino asked.

"It's like with all those other apartments. Those fancy yellow ones. It's three stories of something and has five or six rooms…I don't know, I just know Hayate's got a lot of money!" Genma replied.

Temari and Tenten "oohed" and "ahhed" and the size of the place. Shino just masked his surprise, and stood out on the balcony. The sun was setting, and it wasn't sweltering like other days. The shoreline curved like a "C", giving the beach a somewhat safer feel. Temari joined him, while Tenten went to go tell everyone they were ordering a pizza for dinner.

So far, so good.

…Ahhh, I'm so sorry, my peoples! I had so much writer's block, and I decided I couldn't keep you guys waiting, so I came up with something, fast. I promise: Next chapter there will be more action. Again, so sorry! Please review, and for this chapter NO BAD REVIEWS! I stressed out as it is, posting this… 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Working it Out

Yeah…I apologize for the last chapter.

I don't own Naruto.

* * *

"So, Ino, you like volleyball, huh?" Gaara asked, walking to the house.

"Oh, love it. Is it popular in Suna?"

"Very," Gaara replied, smiling. "Temari used to play, but she wasn't as good as you."

"Thanks. So, you like being Kazekage?"

"It's a pain in the ass." Gaara grimaced. "But, I like it because you get to order people around, and really, ruling your own country is great."

"So, you like, get to deal with economy and all that?"

"Not only economy! I deal with school districts, and all that fun stuff. I get a private jet, too. It's really cool."

"Sounds like it!" Ino agreed. "I wish I were that rich…"

Gaara smiled at her, and walked a bit faster, scanning the apartments

"Hmm, Tenten said that there were showers in front of where we'd be staying. Do you see any, Ino?

"No."

"HEY!"

The two looked up to see where the call came from. Temari was up on the balcony, waving her arms madly.

"Hey, Tem! We're going to walk some more, 'kay? We'll be back later!"

" 'Kay!"

Ino smiled at Gaara, took his hand, and the two took off running in the golden sands.

It was almost night, the last glints of sunlight in the far west, but some of the teens decided to stay outside, still. Yes, Kiba, Sasuke, and Kankuro were _still _in the water, hunting for crabs.

"Sasuke, how many do we have?"

"Um…seven."

"Good!" exclaimed Kiba. "Maybe Genma will let us light a fire, and we can roast them like marshmallows, and then we'll get crab puffs!"

"So, you make crab puffs by roasting them?" Kankuro asked, eyebrows raised. Kiba shrugged.

"Nah, I'm just hoping that it works like popcorn-- you know, when it get exposed to heat the dang kernels are like POP and then you have popcorn." Kiba replied.

"Okay…"

Kankuro wasn't used to the weird things people in the fire country ate, being from the wind country. He also wasn't used to such retarded people.

"Damn!" screamed Sasuke.

"What?"

"Fucking crabs…" Sasuke murmured, taking another off his toe. "Haven't you people noticed that we've caught all our crabs by having the latch onto my foot?"

"No…" Kankuro answered.

"Ooh! Want to know what would be funny? If Sasuke's toes started to bleed, and then some shark came an ate us!" Kiba said excitedly. "I always wanted to see a shark."

"Dude, what the hell? That would suck. I don't want to die!" Kankuro contradicted.

"I'm just saying it would be. Not that it would be great if we died or anything…" Kiba said.

"People, I'm right here!" Sasuke remarked.

"Okay, so now what? We have eight--"

"SHIT!" yelled Sasuke. "Why does everyone like my toes?"

"--nine crabs. So, let's go make crab puffs!"

"For shizzle my nizzle yo rizzle." Kankuro agreed, swimming toward shore with the other two following. It was fully dark now.

"Where's the dang house?" demanded Sasuke.

"Well, Tenten said there was a shower in front, and the lights should be on." Kankuro said, scanning the rows of apartments. He spotted the showers, and something else too. Under the showers, he saw his own little brother…kissing Ino. Right smack on those heart shaped lips of hers. The two were touching, that's how close they were. Kankuro stopped. His mouth dropped, and his eyes widened to the size of Ritz™ crackers.

"Holy…oh my god…" he breathed. Behind him, he heard a gasp come from Sasuke and Kiba's eyebrows shot up…yes, in the famous and expectant Inuzuka way.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked blankly.

"I think so." Sasuke said dryly.

"Let's watch!" Kiba said bouncing with excitement.

"It's going to make us conspicuous if we stand here. I'm sure they can see us." Sasuke said.

"Who cares?" Kankuro and Kiba stared at the scene, intrigued and enthused. Gaara and Ino finally let go of each other. Gaara took her hand, smiling softly, and the two walked up to the house. Wordlessly, Kankuro and Kiba slid under the running water while Sasuke examined his bitten toes.

"He got his first kiss and he's younger than me!" exploded Kankuro. "I'm six freakin' teen!"

"It's okay! I'm sure you'll get yours soon…" Kiba said hopefully. He smiled and looked up into the sky. "I really want mine, too. Have you had yours, Sasuke?"

"Huh? First kiss? No…" Sasuke confessed.

"Haha! We can be the…non first kissers club! NFKC for short." Kiba suggested.

"Okay, I think we're unsalted now. Let's go in. Sasuke."

No reply.

"SASUKE."

"Hm?"

"Get in the fucking shower and get the sand and salt off of you." Kankuro commanded.

"Geez! Fine…"

Once under the water, Sasuke brushed the little grains of salt and sand away absentmindedly, thinking of other things. (A/N: HOT! Pensive, wet, Sasuke)

"Done yet?" asked Kankuro, stepping away from Kiba drying his hair in the "dog" way.

"Yeah."

Sasuke made a whiplash move with his head, sending droplets of water everywhere from his longish hair. Kankuro and Kiba exchanged glances.

"C'mon."

Upon reaching the house, they saw that the doors were open, and up on the balcony there were some people, talking loudly and eating pizza. The two walked in, blending in with the partying teens.

"Yo, where's the pizza?" Kankuro asked Tenten, who was doing some shimmy dance.

"Uhh, kitchen." she replied. "Where have you been?"

"Crab fishing!" Kankuro replied, faking enthusiasm. Tenten smiled.

"Actually, crab boating, but _without _the boat!" Kiba corrected.

Tenten rolled her eyes.

"Oh. Well, go get your pizza."

Sasuke and Kiba followed Kankuro to the kitchen, where Naruto was harassing Genma.

"Come on! Another slice, please? PLEASE?" Naruto begged, shoving an empty plate in Genma's face. Genma looked nearly volatile.

"What did I say? That's your…twelfth piece? No more!"

"I'm hungry!" whined Naruto.

"Ah, sure. And guess what? I'm hungry, too, and am I having a fit about it?"

"Yup!" replied Naruto. " 'Cause people are cranky when they're hungry."

"It's scientifically proven that men get crankier when they're hungry!" shouted Temari from the dance party going on in front of the TV. Genma glared at her, and shoved Naruto out of the kitchen.

"Well, eat." Sasuke replied, grabbing a plate and piling it with pizza.

"I can't."

"Why? Got a gastric bypass or something? Allergic to fatty Italian foods?" teased Kiba.

"No." Genma grimaced. "I'm waiting until you kids finish with it, and that way no one will blame me for eating the rest. Besides, there's only, like, five slices left…" replied Genma.

"Oh, sorry, make that two pieces." Sasuke strode out of the kitchen with the three sacred pieces of pizza. Kankuro jumped forward, and jacked the last two, running out before Genma could take them.

"Shit!"

"Hey, Genma, want to make crab puffs?" Kiba suggested, grinning.

"Excuse me?"

"Crab puffs. They're yummy!"

"Oh, and I suppose you have a crab?" he said sarcastically.

"Nine."

Genma relaxed a little, but was still scowling.

"Okay. So, let's see the crabs."

Kiba opened up his bag, and pulled out the small yellowish crab carefully.

"Ready?"

Genma's eyebrow twitched. Bad sign.

"You expect me to eat that? It's a fuckin' beach crab thingy! Are they even edible? Do you expect that thing to just pop into a crab puff like popcorn?" Genma was highly pissed now…

"Yeah. So, let's try it! Besides, I have nine of them."

"Before I kill you, I suggest you go leave."

"I can seriously help you find food!" Kiba wouldn't leave Genma alone.

"Oh, yeah?" he scoffed.

"Yup. All you have to do is not think about food." Kiba replied like it was a the most helpful thing to say to an unstable, hungry, man.

"Is that really going to help?" hissed Genma.

"Uh, I don't know. Just go get food."

"And leave you kids alone? God only knows what you'll do to each other while I'm gone." Genma rolled his eyes. "I'm a freaking babysitter."

"Not really. We'll put someone responsible in charge."

"Which one of you doesn't want to rape the other?" Genma asked sarcastically.

"Good point!" Kiba said with a nod. "Okay, good luck with finding food."

Kiba ignored the cussing, and went off to go party. Being hungry didn't mind him too much.

Ino and Gaara were out on the balcony, love struck. The night was so perfect, and Gaara was the first to point it out.

"Doesn't it feel great out here?" he sighed.

"Yes," Ino replied dreamily.

"Very."

"Ahhh."

"Ahh."

"You're so hot, Gaara." Ino chortled.

"You are too, Ino."

"We're so hot. We're the hottest couple ever!"

"Yeah." agreed Gaara.

"Are you abstinent?" asked Ino, a lustful glint in her eyes.

"Duh." replied Gaara.

Ino smirked.

It was now ten thirty. After four hours of partying, and starvation for Genma, had passed, and the teens had stuffed themselves onto the couch, under the air conditioning vent, quietly watching a horror movie. Genma was watching too, just so something morbid and stomach churning would come up, ridding him of his appetite. Then the commercials came up.

"Hey, how are we going to sleep?" Sakura asked sleepily. Genma shrugged, not wanting to have to stop chewing his toothpick.

"Like, there's seven rooms, so…two per room, three in one room, guys with guys and girls with girls?" Sakura specified.

"SAKURA! We told you it was guys with girls!" yelled Ino , Temari and Naruto. Sakura stuck her forehead with her palm.

Genma shrugged.

"Well, obviously I get a room. So, yeah, that should do. But it's girls with girls and guys with guys. Sorry." he replied.

"But why?" moaned Naruto.

Genma snickered.

"You and I both know why."

"No, why?"

"ANYWAY," Genma began. "You kids just go to sleep whenever. When does this lame movie end?"

"Eleven,"

"Alright, well, I want you kids in the rooms by then."

The movie finished, after a particularly moving ending that had half the room in tears. They discussed sleeping arrangement while recovering.

"Okay, Genma's asleep…" began Ino. "Guys with girls! PERFECT! Okay, Gaara, you're with me…on the second story. C'mon, let's dream." Ino grabbed Gaara's arm and bounded up the stairs. Everyone exchanged awkward glances.

"Hey, umm…S-Sakura…want to share a room with me?" Sasuke asked quietly. Sakura stared at him blankly, but then her gorgeous green eyes lit up.

"Sure!"

"GO SASUKE! YOU DID IT!" cheered Kiba. Suddenly, Kiba was taken down to floor and had a fist stabbed in his mouth.

"SHHut the hell up! If Genma wakes up, we're screwed!" Temari whispered, removing her hand from his mouth.

"Oh. Sorry."

"Whatever. Naruto, hurry up and decide."

"Come on Kiba. We have to discuss SRS and WOW and NFKC."

"Yeah! So, I'm a mage on level sixty…"

"Losers." mumbled Shikamaru.

Temari suddenly glomped Shikamaru.

"Hey, babe! You know you're totally sharing with me, right?"

"DUH." he replied.

"Shino, pick." she commanded.

He suddenly started to act very withdrawn and Hinata-like.

"Um…Hinata?"

"You sexy bastard, let's go get our room." Hinata nearly wrenched Shino's arm off. Shino looked surprised.

"You three share. 'Night!"

Neji glared at Kankuro instantly. Kankuro scooted away, and Tenten yawned. Kankuro didn't look too excited, rather a bit scared. Tenten didn't seem to care, and Neji was noticeably pissed off.

"Let's go." he grumbled. The other two went up both flights a few feet behind him, just in case he planned to kill Kankuro. Neji strode into the room and cussed audibly.

"Damn it. Kankuro, you get the floor."

"Nuh-uh. You get the floor." Kankuro murmured.

"I'll get the floor." offered Tenten.

"NO!"

"Then we're all going to have to sleep in one bed." she replied.

"I'm not sleeping with him." Neji said, pointing at Kankuro like he were some wretched thing.

"Yeah, neither am I." Kankuro said firmly. Tenten scowled.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!"

"Not really. Now, shut up so I can sleep." Tenten slid into the covers. Neji and Kankuro glared at each other.

"Hey, Tenten, get in the middle."

" 'Kay."

Neji stayed on the very edge of the mattress, so that it dug into his spine. He ground his teeth furiously, and thought the same thing over and over again. _Damn Kankuro. Damn Kankuro. DAMN KANKURO._

Kankuro, on the other hand, was drifting off to sleep. He wasn't on the edge of the mattress, and wasn't very close to Tenten either. He looked forward to comfort like this.

In the next room, Naruto and Kiba were studying the bounty: The Victoria's Secret catalog was spread open.

"I smuggled this from Neji."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

"You're a genius, Naruto."

"Yup."

"Okay, so which girl on the beach did you think looked hottest today?" asked Kiba, rolling onto his stomach. Naruto considered with some difficulty.

"Oh, that's tough. Actually, it's not!" Naruto grinned. "Shino's mom looked the hottest!"

"What the heck? Where did you see her?" Kiba inquired, scowling.

"Oh, she was wearing a blue bikini--"

Kiba grinned. "With brown hair like Shino's that hit her shoulders?"

"Yeah!" Naruto exclaimed. "Isn't she hot?"

"She's not hot, Naruto. She is freaking sexy!" Kiba corrected. "It must've taken years of perfection to achieve shape like that!"

"I don't get what you just said, but whatever. Oh, yeah, Shino thinks your sister is hot."

Kiba started to laugh hysterically.

"Are you serious?"

"YES!" Naruto replied. "He told me!"

"That's funny, 'cause Hana hates his guts. She thinks he's a drug dealer and flunky. Wait till I tell her. Actually, let's tell her now." Kiba pulled out a Razr™ from his pocket.

"Will she be awake?"

"No. But who cares?"

"I want to hear this."

"I'll put her on speakerphone. I have her on speed dial!"

With that, Kiba pressed a button, and it instantly started to ring. Naruto suppressed laughs.

"Hello…?"

"HI, HANA!" yelled Kiba.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" she demanded sleepily.

"Whatever. Hey, Shino thinks you're hot." Kiba said teasingly.

"Shino Aburame? The drug dealer? The bug bastard?"

"Yeah. He said you're sizzling."

"…"

"Hana?"

"Tell him to burn in hell." she said acidly.

"Will do." Kiba affirmed.

"Thanks. Oh, Akamaru sends kisses."

"Aww!" cooed Kiba. "Tell him I send kisses too! And tell mom I'm here at the beach with that guy…that guy with the stick…"

"Genma." Naruto said.

"Oh, okay. Good night."

"BYE!" Kiba and Naruto said.

"Bye."

Click.

"Want to go tell him to burn in hell now?" Kiba asked Naruto.

"Later." Naruto replied, pulling his towel over him. "I'm tired."

" 'Night!"

"…'night."

Between starvation and slight paranoia, Genma was having serious issues falling asleep. His main concern was what the kids were up to. That was the source of the paranoia. And the starvation, was, well, starvation. It wasn't that the bed wasn't comfortable, it was great, but those things on his mind kept pestering him. Suddenly, there was a thud from above. _That's it! I'm going to go see what they're up to! Every single one of them._

He tossed the covers off, regained his balance, and crept up the stairs. He opened the door to the first room, and saw that Sasuke and Sakura were okay. Not entangled together, and a good two or three feet away from each other. That was a relief. _Alright, they're okay…_

He went to the next room, where Temari and Shikamaru were sleeping. They weren't like Sasuke and Sakura. They were extremely close to each other, arms around each other. Genma grimaced and went on. _They're what, fifteen and sixteen? Aren't they a bit young?_ The last room he was positive he heard the thud from. Hesitant, but making up his mind, he swung the door open. The bed was empty. But on the ground…

Gaara and Ino were making out.

"Anyone care to explain your awkward position?" Genma demanded.

Ino jumped off of Gaara, and pulled the covers off the bed to hide her in the state of being clad in lingerie.

"EEP!" shrieked Ino. "It's not what it seems. We were just acting."

"Hi…" Gaara said nervously.

"Sure. I'm so going to believe that. Now, Ino, you're going to go sleep on the couch. Come on, get down there."

"B-but I'm in my underwear!" she almost screamed.

"That's your problem."

"Couldn't you just let me put something on first?"

"No." Genma leaned over and pulled her up. Ino didn't budge, and grabbed onto Gaara. Genma yanked, and Ino's grip slipped, and she was being dragged down the stairs. Genma planned to discipline them later…when he thought of what he should do.

"You can't do this!" whispered Ino.

"Oh, I can believe me." Genma replied, pushing her onto the couch. Ino suddenly burst into tears.

"I really love him!"

"True love is waiting until marriage." Genma replied firmly.

"No!"

"Don't argue with me. I'm going to watch you to make sure you fall asleep."

"Then I'll never fall asleep!" Ino snapped.

"And neither will I."

"You're mean!"

"No shit." Genma blankly answered.

Ino groaned loudly and made herself comfortable. It was then Genma knew this would be a long, annoying night.

Ino looked asleep. She had to be asleep by now, thirty minutes had passed. Genma sighed, and walked back to his room, where, upon hitting the pillow, he fell asleep.

Tenten's chance had finally arrived. Kankuro and Neji were both sleeping like logs. She carefully pulled back the covers, made sure she didn't step on any legs or arms, and nimbly jumped off the bed. Tenten opened and closed the door without a sound, and slinked down the to flights of stairs without a peep. She crossed the living room, grimacing at all the crumbs sticking to her feet, and passed the kitchen. It was dark, Tenten had to navigate using her hands and feet. She blindly groped for the door, praying it was the right one, and poked her head in. Tenten squinted, and tiptoed in. She finally saw him, and kneeled down by the bed. She sat there, and observed her new "true love".

Tenten took sat there, and folded her arms on the bedside, staring at Genma. He was frowning slightly, and looked annoyed. Tenten grabbed a strand of hair, and ran it through her fingers. It was smooth like wet clay. Then suddenly, Genma subconsciously slapped her hand away, and rolled onto his other side. _DAMN!_ thought Tenten. She simply went around to the other side, and made herself comfortable next to him. Sure, she'd lose sleep staring at him, but it was better than sleeping in between two smelly losers.

Gaara's eyes stayed open. He was extremely paranoid, afraid Ino would come into his room any minute. With any noise, Gaara would sit up, and sweep his eyes around every corner of the room. He was very tense and worried. Though the shaft of moonlight streaming through his window provided decent lighting, he had every light in the room on. Gaara decided it was safe once two hours passed, and then he turned off the lights and tried to sleep.

But then the door opened.

Gaara's eyes ripped open. He slowly looked out of his peripherals, dreading the most. His heart stopped.

"Babe, we're not done yet." Ino said.

Gaara shot up, and rolled out of the bed. Ino expected him to go right for her, but Gaara ducked right past her, grabbed onto the stair banister, and launched himself cleanly over. With a surprisingly quiet thud, having jumped from the third story, Gaara landed on the first story, and made a run for Genma's room. Gaara hoped he'd find some protection from him. Gaara bust the door open, and ducked under the sheets. He hit something else too, and he found himself staring at Tenten's hair.

"Tenten? What are you doing here?" Gaara asked.

"SHHHHHH!" she hissed. "Don't wake Genma up!"

The door flew open.

"HEY BABY!" yelled Ino.

Gaara and Tenten screamed."

"No! Don't rape me!"

"Ino?! What's going on?"

Genma woke up, and was instantly seething.

"What the fuck is going on?"

Ino's mouth dropped, and she tried to run, but with one lithe move, Genma was out of the sheets and blocking the door.

"Uh…um…hi?" tried Ino.

"Sit down." snarled Genma, pushing her onto the bed. Tenten looked at Gaara curiously.

"Tenten, what are you doing in my bed?"

"I was…uh…gathering information on the specimens of homo sapiens…" Tenten said.

"You're in trouble for just…being here." Genma said. "Get back to your room, right fucking now."

"Okay." Tenten whispered. She got up and ran out.

"And you two, you guys, explain to me what happened to make you two have this 'relationship'."

"I'm in love!" cried Ino.

"I was making out with her because she said that if I didn't make out with her she's assassinate me and tell everyone things like I was a pimp and stuff!" accused Gaara.

A blank, vexed, look crossed Genma's tired face.

"What the hell…? You guys get to stay inside all day tomorrow. Gaara, I'd say you're free to go, but Ino, your parents will hear this."

"NO!" she screeched.

"Yes. Now, Gaara…go back up to the room and lock the door. Ino, just go away."

"Yes sir…"

Ino scampered out.

"Hey, Kiba, what's for breakfast?" Tenten sleepily asked, curled up on the sofa watching baby shows.

"I could make crab puffs--"

"Yeah, no thanks. I don't eat…that type of thing."

"Okay. I'm going to wake Genma up, that way he make us something."

"OOH! I'm coming!"

Tenten jumped off the couch and followed Kiba down the hallway. Kiba threw open the door, and walked in. Tenten strangled squeals when she saw her new "true love". He had one arm hanging off the bed limply, and the other rested over his stomach. Genma's hair was thrown around his face, and he looked like he was sleeping deeply. Kiba stepped forward, but Tenten grabbed his shirt and pulled him back, making Kiba cry out.

"Augh!"

"SHHHH!"

A light frown crossed Genma's countenance, but then passed.

"Don't wake him up!" she hissed.

"Why not?" whispered Kiba.

"He looks so angelic…" Tenten replied, sighing.

"Well, how are we supposed to eat?"

Tenten dragged him out of the room.

"Okay, Kiba, can I trust you with money?"

Kiba nodded.

"Here." Tenten fished for something in her pocket, and shoved it into Kiba's hands. "Fifteen dollars. Go spend it on Pop Tarts, who doesn't like Pop Tarts?"

"Actually, Hana's allergic to them--"

"ANYWAY." Tenten murmured. "Buy two boxes, and then buy milk and some other necessary things, like water and cheapo ramen. Just make sure it's on sale, and there's a supermarket just outside the apartment complex. Now hurry!"

"Okay! Be right back!"

Tenten decided to just let Kiba go barefoot and in a swimsuit. It was eight in the morning, so it wouldn't really matter. Besides, Kiba always looks like a hobo…

Tenten went back to sitting around on the couch.

"You what?!"

"I sent Kiba to go shop for us. Don't worry, I told him what to buy." Tenten assured.

"Are you crazy?" demanded Genma. "He's going to go buy firewood for his 'crab puffs'! We're going to starve here!"

Tenten paused to look at Genma's slight case of bed head.

"Nah. I told him to go buy Pop Tarts and milk, and water, and all that stuff we really need."

"Ugh. Screw this. Tenten, do you have money on you?"

"Yeah. How much do you need?"

"Whatever you have. I'm going to go to Mickey D's and get some crap for you kids…and ME."

"Mickey D's?" asked Tenten."

"McDonald's--, ohhh, shit, I can't leave you guys alone. Rapist children…"

"True. Hey, where's Ino?"

Genma paled.

"Shi-it. Just…give me the money."

"Are you mugging me?" Tenten looked at his open hand warily.

"You know what? Fuck this crap, I'm going back to bed. Go starve or something." With that Genma, turned and lumbered off.

Kiba returned, holding three bags. One with pop tarts, another with milk and water, and the last had firewood.

"There, now we can have crab puffs!" he said, striding over to the kitchen.

"Oh. 'Kay."

Tenten thoughts when off to something else. Why hadn't the rest of the house woken up yet, when it had already been three hours? What took Kiba so long?

"Hey, Kiba, what took you?"

"I got lost."

"…oh."

Tenten and Kiba made their Pop Tarts™ and had a pleasant little conversation. But, then the unexpected happened.

"Hey, Yuugao, is it just me, or does it smell like Pop Tarts?"

* * *

DAMN IT! I can't think. Whatever. Just…sorry for doing crappy writing. I've been having issues... 


	5. Chapter 5

-1Chapter 5: Chastisement

IDON

Tenten dropped her Pop Tart. Kiba stopped mid-bite. The two locked eyes.

"Oh, shit!" whispered Tenten.

"Hayate, it _does_ smell like cheap, fattening pastries."

"Yeah, I don't even like pastries…and what's with all this sand on the floor?"

The voices carried from the stairs down below.

"Kiba, um, what do we do?"

Kiba shrugged.

"Want to watch Genma get in trouble?"

"You bastard! We gotta go wake everyone up so we can escape!" hissed Tenten.

"OH!" Kiba said. "Right, right. Well, uh, we'll just out the window then, right?"

"You know what? Fuck this! Let them deal with it! You and I are ditching this pop stand!"

Tenten jumped up, grabbed Kiba's arm, opened the door to the balcony, and jumped out.

By now, the couple had reached the kitchen, and were awed, confused, and ticked off to find Pop Tarts and a left over pizza box.

"Those grease stains disgust me, Hayate." Yuugao remarked.

"Yes, my dear, I know."

"I want them out of my sight."

"First, we have to find out who has taken over this place."

"Hey, what's for breakfast?"

The couple turned around. The found themselves face to face with a sleepy, black haired teenager.

"Excuse me?" demanded Yuugao.

The boy blinked.

"Um, this is Genma's beach house. What are you people doing here?"

"WHAT?! This is _my _beach house!" Hayate said.

The boy did a double take.

"Whoa. So, are these Pop Tarts new…?"

"YOU!" Yuugao grabbed him by the shirt. "What's your name?"

"Sasuke." he replied blankly, yawning.

"Where's Genma?" asked Hayate.

"I think he's sleeping. In the master bedroom, in your bed." replied Sasuke.

"Damn bastard…"

Hayate went off into the hallway near the kitchen Yuugao by his side, and Sasuke tagging along, wanting to see demure people get pissed off. Hayate threw open the door, and they found Genma was snoring lightly.

"GENMA!"

At once, Genma shot up, and looked around, brushing hair out of his eyes.

"Huh? Who raped who?"

Silence. Genma blinked, and paled once the sight in front of him sank in.

"Hey, Hayate, old buddy, old pal-- heh…what's up?" faltered Genma.

"…"

"Why are looking at me like that?"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA--"

"If I give you three hundreds, will you stay quiet about this?" Genma interrupted, pleading.

The anger faded from Hayate's face. He seemed to be contemplating Genma's offer.

"Toss in two hundreds more, and will you clean up the place too?"

"SURE! Hey, Sasuke, go mop the living--"

"Child labor was abolished a long time ago. _You_ are going to clean the whole house, Genma." Yuugao said.

"Damn it. Fine, then. Here's the money."

Genma dumped the money in Hayate's hands, and went off to go clean. Sasuke stood around blankly, until he decided eating would be more fun than standing around like some loser. Besides, he was barely awake. And, he saw there were two Pop Tarts sitting on the table…sure, they were bitten, but he went and ate them anyway.

Outside he saw the beach was already full of people, swimming and playing in the sapphire waters. Being eleven thirty, Sasuke thought he should go see what was up with everyone, and why there were still in bed. It's not like they went to bed at four in the morning…at least to the best of Sasuke's knowledge. First, he decided to check on Sakura, who he saw was awake, and in a swimsuit, her hair pulled back into a neat ponytail.

"Good morning," he said. Sakura smiled at him.

"Hi. Want to go swimming later?"

"Sure. I was wondering when you were going to wake up." Sasuke replied, going over to her.

"I slept in, but for reasons I don't even know." she replied. "Anyway, when do you want to go?"

"Now, I guess. Let me get dressed."

Sakura politely stepped out of the room while Sasuke changed. He came out, shortly after, and the two went off to the golden sands.

By one thirty, two hours later. there were still some people that were asleep. But, no one really cared. Particularly Kiba…

Kiba re-adjusted the logs under his arm, and quickened his pace. The bag he slung over his shoulder was crawling-- literally.

"I know, Crab, it's getting annoying in that bag. But soon, you'll be in the bag of my stomach! Get it? GET IT? HAHAHA!" Kiba said.

…Uhh, well, the crabs, yeah, they obviously didn't reply…

Kiba decided to plant himself down by the concession stand, and tossed the logs down on the ground. He struck a match, and let it burn. Several people gave him odd stares as they walked by; seeing it senseless to have a fire raging in the middle of the summer, and stayed curiously to see whatever the hell he was doing.

After "fighting" the palm tree for branches, he found he finally had enough. Kiba held up a crab, and rammed a branch right through it.

"Eww! What the hell, man?" exclaimed one person from Kiba's audience.

Kiba just gave them the Inuzuka look, catching the eyes of a pretty brown haired girl, standing by curiously. She smiled back, blushing a bit. _She's hot! _thought Kiba.

Kiba paused for some effect, holding the stick with the crab flinching on it. Well, the whole sight was rather…odd. A boy, holding a crab on a stick, with a fire rampant in front of him.

"Alright, people, watch! The ultimate crab puff!"

Kiba thrust the stick into the fire, more "ewws" rising from Kiba's growing hoard of spectators.

And then, it happened. The yellow crab, with a high pitched POP turned into a lumpy ball of yellow as soon as the fire licked it.

The crowd stared, while Kiba cheered.

"I DID IT! The crab puff! Wow, Genma HAS to try this."

Kiba plucked the puff from the stick, and took a bite out of it. His eyes not only popped out, but his mouth dropped, drool rolling down his chin.

"This…this…is DELICIOUS!"

The crowd leaned forward, watching Kiba eat the crab puff wholeheartedly.

"Who wants one?" he asked, through a mouthful of…beach crab…

"Uhh, I'll take one…" one guy began.

"Same here!" a girl piped up.

Kiba grinned, and stabbed two more crabs on the stick, and watched them pop into his crab puffs. He handed them to the people, and watched their scowls turn into smiles as they bit into the rather dry, crunchy ball of crab.

"This is heaven!"

"Holy crap-- I mean CRAB! This rocks!"

"I want one!"

"Yeah, I want to try one!"

The wheels in Kiba's mind started to turn. Looking at his future customers, he thought of something. Kiba had six crabs left. And where did he find those crabs? The ocean, right in front of him. And, there was another thing. The people standing before him looked like they'd be willing to, oh, pay some for the puffs.

"Alright, people! Single file line! Uhh…five bucks per puff!"

"WHAT?!"

Kiba quickly thought of a lie.

"Well, I need money to buy materials so I can crab boat. It's not that easy to find these crabs. So…who's next?"

Kiba was rather surprised at how fast his puffs sold. He had thirty bucks in thirty seconds.

"Hey, guys, I gotta go crab boat. I'll be back soon, stick around."

Kiba got up from the sand, but was stopped, by the same girl that caught his eye earlier.

"Oh! I'll watch the stand for you!" she offered. "I'm Akiko."

"Nice to meet ya, I'm Kiba. Be right back."

Neji woke up pissed. Of course, that's no change. He had woken up hot and sweaty, to the sun pouring in through his window. Kankuro had woken up at the same time. But they both noticed something was wrong.

"Where's Tenten?" Neji asked coldly, suspecting Kankuro had done something to her.

"DUDE! I have no idea!" Kankuro exclaimed. "Where the hell is she?"

"DUDE! Did you kill her and throw her over?!"

"Dude, what the fuck? You're the one that raped her!" Kankuro accused sharply.

"What the hell!" screeched Neji.

"Go find her!" yelled Kankuro.

"You're coming with me, like it or not!"

"Fuck you!"

"YOU BITCH! Just come on!" screamed Neji, ripping Kankuro from the sheets and running down the stairs, maniacal.

As they rushed down screaming, in their boxers, trying to bitchslap each other, Genma watched the odd sight, holding a duster in one hand. He scowl deepened the closer they came to him. Genma then took action. He jumped right into the catfight, and smacked them both-- HARD-- with the duster. It didn't do much but faze Kankuro and Neji for a short moment, and they went right back to killing each other. Genma stared as they rolled down another flight. "Kids," he murmured to himself, dusting some left over parmesan cheese from the table.

As soon as Kankuro and Neji remembered how dire the situation was, which was thirty minutes later, they sprung right into action.

"Kankuro, go look at the beach spit. She might be there."

"Ah, yeah, if I even knew what a spit was." Kankuro grumbled.

"Damn you! I'll look at the spit. You, go…go find her in the ocean."

"Whatever."

"Fine! Let her be laid by someone else!"

Kankuro whimpered at the thought of that. So saying, he took off.

The beach spit wasn't very crowded at all. Which was exactly why Neji gave himself the job. He knew Kankuro wouldn't know what a spit is, giving Neji the chance to go chill out with a margarita, despite his under agedness. He wasn't worried about Tenten. Oh, hell, no. He was worried whether or whether not the bartender heard his order correctly.

Meanwhile, Kankuro was scanning all the heads in the water, looking for Tenten's buns. The beach, was, well, as expected on any hot day, crowded. VERY CROWDED. So crowded that Kankuro could hardly tell the difference between the boys and girls, and who was on floaties or actually swimming. _SHIT, _he thought, looking around. _Where to begin…?_ It hit him like a bitchslap.

"SHARK! SHARK OH MY GOD A SHARK!" he screamed, waving his arms around. People gave him strange looks, as they watched him faking an epileptic seizure on the ground, making strangled noises.

After a while, he got tired, so Kankuro went straight to the concessions stand.

Shino was studying a bug, up close, crawling on the window sill. He had woken up not too long ago, but his interest was rooted on a tiny beetle. Shino peered over it. Behind him, Shino heard a noise. Then a yawn.

"Oh, good morning, Shino." Hinata said sleepily.

"It's the afternoon."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"EWW! Is that a bug?"

"It's an insect, actually." Shino corrected.

"Ew. I'm going to go get breakfast," Hinata said. "Want to come?"

"No."

"Okay…then…"

Hinata carefully left the room, with a second glance over her shoulder at Shino.

Shino took note of the bug's…eh…dimensions…and watched it crawl along the sill peacefully. Shino was peaceful too, until, before he knew, he was grabbed by his neck, and flung out the open window. He didn't know what hit him until quite literally, he hit the ground. And started to cuss immediately.

"Oh, mother f--!"

But a hand pressed to his mouth muffled his swear fest.

"Shut up!"

Shino looked up.

Gaara stared over him, wringing his hands.

"What the hell? Why-- did you nearly give me whiplash? AHH! What about my bug--"

"SHHHHH!"

Shino shut up.

"Look. Ino is a rapist. She has a freaking society. SHE'S COMING!" screamed Gaara.

"Wait…what?"

"Ino wants to do it with! Help me!" moaned Gaara.

"Why should I help you?" scoffed Shino.

"Boy," Gaara said, jerking Shino. "You will do as I say. Got it?"

"Uhhh…sure. So, what do you want me to do?"

"Tell her that I…I went back to Suna or something! Someone rich and fancy died-- oh, I don't know! Basically, I'm just gonna hide in the car until freakin' Genma finishes up with the gay house."

"O…kay…" mumbled Shino. "Can you get off me now?"

"Oh, sure. Sorry." Gaara murmured, getting off of Shino.

"Where's Ino?" asked Shino.

"Preparing for rape!" Gaara said.

"Which means…?"

"I don't know. It just means she's coming."

"OH YEAH!" shouted Neji, collapsing at the front of the beach house. Genma, who was currently sweeping the area near the front door, frowned at Neji.

"Get up before I beat you with this broom."

"Oh yeah…" Neji repeated weakly.

"What are you, high?" surmised Genma.

"Drunk," Neji corrected.

Genma raised an eyebrow, and gave Neji a disapproving glare.

"Kids these days." Genma sighed. "Back when I was your age we didn't drink. Now, get the fuck up. You're dirtying the floor up. And wipe up your drool before you go."

"I can't get up…" Neji said with a hiccup.

"And WHY?" Genma demanded, folding his arms. "How else did you get here?"

"Ugghh…" groaned Neji, sitting up slightly. "Can you help me up?"

"Hell, no. That's your problem. Now, for the last time, GET OUTTA MY WAY."

"Sorry, sorry…"

Neji got up, and managed to trudge up to his room. Hayate and Yuugao, who were primly sipping vodka in the living room, gave him odd stares, and Yuugao was kind enough to point out that he looked like he was "from the ghetto" and "disgusting in disheveled appearance". Neji replied with a "HI!", and continued up the stairs.

Later that afternoon, things were getting out of hand. Kiba was nowhere to be seen, and Genma was waiting at the car, where everyone else was.

"Damn it! Where did that kids disappear to?"

Suddenly, a strange scent filled the air.

"What the fuck?" wondered Genma, taking a whiff. "It smells like roasted seawater."

What came around the corner made his jaw drop.

Sorry, people, freaking writer's block has killed me. Basically, I had to cut the chapter short so I can think of other ideas without losing fans. Sorry is the chapter sucked eggs. You know the routine, review.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Kiba's Genial Plan

Naruto es de Masashi Kishimoto.

Last chapter! I'm out of ideas, I'm done!

Genma couldn't believe what had just turned around the corner. He saw Kiba…but next to Kiba, a girl, holding sticks with little balls of yellow on them. Genma's first thought was that Kiba had become a pimp, but then he saw guys behind him and the idea vanished.

"HEY, GENMA! WANT A CRAB PUFF?" Kiba waved around what must've been a crab puff.

"Kids, get in the car. NOW!"

The other teens hopped into the car, and squeezed themselves in, pressing their fat noses to the window. Kiba was approaching, and something about him made him look more sophisticated…maybe because he was walking arm in arm with Akiko. But even so, his Inuzuka look stayed the same. Genma scowled and folded his arms when Kiba tried to offer him a crab puff.

"It's really good." Assured Akiko. "You should really try it."

"Yeah, Genma!" Kiba said. He shoved the puff in his face.

"If you give me food poisoning I swear you'll be real fucked up when I finish with you."

Kiba laughed loudly.

"Ah, you won't die. NOW EAT IT!"

Genma, after murmuring some more swear, took a bite of the yellow puffy thingy. His eyes widened. He dropped the stick on floor. Genma's eye twitched.

"I'M CUCKOO FOR CRAB PUFFS! WAHOOOOOOOO!"

Kiba and Akiko stepped back a bit from the volatile Genma. He was laughing in spasms and talking a few octaves too high for him.

"Oh…okay, then…" mumbled Akiko.

"KIDDIES GET IN THE CAR!" Genma screamed.

Kiba turned to Akiko. He smiled at her, but Kiba looked a bit sad. Akiko smiled back. She really was good looking, in Kiba's eyes.

"Hey, Akiko, it was nice meeting you. You really helped me with my business."

"It was nice meeting you too, Kiba." Akiko replied. "The crab puffs were genial. I hope I get to see you again."

"Yeah…"

Kiba looked at the ground. Then he suddenly looked up at her, eyes wide as light bulbs, and protrusive as light bulbs too.

"Hey, Akiko…I've got an idea…"

"What is it?"

"Well, um, that's a surprise. Hold on a sec." Kiba replied. "Hey, Genma! I riding on the roof of the car, 'kay?"

"WOOT! CRAB PUFFS!" Genma replied. Everyone else in the car was a little afraid. Was it safe for Genma to drive?

Kiba smirked at Akiko. Akiko scowled a little.

"You aren't…"

"I AM!"

Kiba grabbed Akiko's arm, and jumped up onto the roof of the car.

"You can share a room with my sister!"

Akiko stared at Kiba blankly, like he wasn't serious. She then broke out into a wide smile, and sat there next to him as they flew down the highway.

Genma drove well, nothing exploded or anything. The kids in the car didn't need to say prayers.

Upon arriving Konoha, Asuma took his car back by hijacking it, and well, everyone else fled home to tell their family about the fun day they had. Kiba, however, roasted crab puffs out side with his family…and Akiko.

So love had bloomed after all.

Thanks for reading. Inuzuka Nin, thanks for giving such awesome reviews, and always being so good about reviewing!


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